Episode 40: On Our Best Behavior with Elise Loehnen

In this episode we are talking to Elise Loehnen about her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good.  We will discuss about how women have conformed to societal requirements for years and how we can change that. This is not an episode you want to miss!

In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. It was a dream come true for me to interview New York Times Bestselling Author Elise Loehnen. In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. Elise discusses how her childhood, interactions in her professional and personal life as an adult, and working with her therapist inspired the idea for this book. We take a look at the ways women police themselves and others in order to be perceived as good and nice rather than mad, mean, or angry. This insightful and thought-provoking episode will leave you asking questions about the way you interact with the world around you. You won’t want to miss this one! 


What we talk about with Elise Loehnen on On Our Best Behavior:

  • The reasons why women are coded for niceness and men are coded for power.
  • How women use high achievement to try and attain a place of security.
  • Patriarchy and how it shows up depending on gender in different ways.
  • What are the codes of goodness? 
  • Why the seven deadly sins cause women to conform to the societal requirement for niceness.
  • How envy comes up in subtle ways when talking about other women and is the gateway to all of the other sins. 
  • The ties between the different sins and how they can compound issues or feelings towards others. 
  • Scarcity and the feelings of anxiety when others have or do what we want.
  • Denying our wants and desires instead of owning them.
  • What goodness looks like as a mom and how many moms get in their own way as a parent while trying to reach an unattainable goal.
  • How we parent kids is affecting their ability to be creative, imaginative, manage being lonely or bored
  • Why girls are more likely to mask and conform at young ages compared to boys of the same age.
  • Raising daughters with the duality of good work ethic and being gentle and kind with yourself. 

Learn more about Elise Loehnen - https://www.eliseloehnen.com/


Get the book - On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen


Follow Elise on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/


Subscribe to Elise’s newsletter, Pulling the Thread, on Substack - https://eliseloehnen.substack.com/


Pulling the Thread Podcast - https://chartable.com/podcasts/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen


About Elise: 

Elise Loehnen Fissmer is a writer and editor living in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread podcast, where she interviews cultural luminaries on the big questions of the day. She’s co-written 12 books, including five New York Times Best Sellers. Her first book under her own name, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, was also an instant New York Times bestseller. She’s held many other titles including the chief content officer of goop, editorial projects director of Condé Nast Travelereditor, and deputy editor of Lucky Magazine. These days, she spends her time writing, reading, consulting, doing board work, and fundraising for causes and politicians focused on environmental action, social justice, women and children’s health, and a more equitable world.



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